REPUBLISHED: ‘Real’ and ‘More Real’

Real

As I stand here, breaking apart, I cry out to my God.
I realize why I am breaking from within.
My first love has left me.
I’ve broken my first love.
I’ve broken apart, from within.
I’m standing here, breaking apart.

As I run away, limping in pain, I scream in agony.
My body is dying, no life within.
My heart, once strong and filled, is beating its last.
I’ve pierced my heart, I’ve removed the arrow.
I’m bleeding out, from within.
I’m running away, limping in pain.

As I collapse, the agony consuming me, I give up.
The dirt of the ground dries my mouth, irritates my eyes.
I realize how dirty I really am, I cannot be cleaned.
I can go no further, my strength has gone.
I don’t want to get up, just let me be, let me die.
My eyes close, I’ve nothing left.
I’ve collapsed, the agony consuming me.

I begin to die.
This is real.
This is it.
The End.

More Real

 I’m dead.
There is no more.
This is it.
This is real.
This is the end.

You see me.
You love me.
You want me.
You are more real.

You breathe into me.

As I look to the starry sky, my heart racing, I see You.
I feel the blood pulsing through my veins.
The muscles once broken, now scream to move.
My fingers dig into the ground, dirt underneath my nails.
My legs push up, my body rises.
I look to the starry sky, my heart racing.

As I stand here, my senses overloaded, I feel You.
My hair rustles in the wind. It begins to rain, no clouds.
I lift my arms, the rain, so cool, so refreshing.
The lightning and the thunder, so powerful.
The lightning guides me, my feet push me forward.
Faster and faster, the thunder keeping rhythm.
The adrenaline excites my body, I can feel everything.
And then You hit me.
I’m standing here, my senses overloaded.

As I collapse, my eyes closed, I cry to You.
The tears falling with the rain, I realize what’s happened.
You’ve saved me. You’ve loved me. You’ve brought me back to life.
It’s then that I begin to understand.
I’ve collapsed, my eyes closed.

As I look at myself, my conscience disgusted, I know You.
I can understand. My perspective has changed.
You are more real. More real, than anything.
What was once real, is now fake.
You’ve changed everything.
I have no thing to look at.
You’re glory blinds my eyes, makes my head ache, my ears go deaf.
I’ve looked at myself, my conscience cleared.

As I worship You, my body bowed in reverence, I love You.
I am shaken, I am stilled. I am broken, I am healed.
I’m worshiping You, my body bowed in reverence.

Your love, so amazing.
Your grace, so abounding.
Your mercy, so mesmerizing.
Your creation, so cool.

I begin to live.
This is more real.
This is it.
The Beginning.

You are more real.