If It Is Godly, Keep It

Mindset: the things we cannot easily obtain, are the things we desire most. For instance, a new car, a house, a significant other, an education/career; all of those things are considered desirable in this world, and all require an amount of dedication and perseverance to obtain.

I am currently reading Passion & Purity by Elisabeth Elliot (if you are a young adult and have not read this book, do so immediately). The book tells of Elisabeth’s interactions prior to her marriage to her (now late) husband, Jim Elliot. In the 34th chapter, titled “Four Bare Legs,” Elisabeth paints a scene for us to consider. A guy is walking a girl to her door, after a wonderful date. Either out of chivalry or a sense of obligation, the guy will be compelled to give her a kiss goodnight, even if he doesn’t want to; it’s what society has engrained in us to do at the end of a date. As guys, we have enormous pressure from society (and from the girl, even if she is not aware of it) to follow “rules of protocol” when in a relationship with a girl. Even if our moral compass or our upbringing has taught us not to do what is expected or suggested, we will still often do it, because we do not know the girl’s expectations; girls are mysteries to us guys, straight up. But this is not the point I want to make.

Look over the things you own, the things you have obtained. Which of those things do you value most? If you were to exclude objects that represent memories or were of sentimental value, the things you prize, the things you treasure, are the things you had to earn, not gifts you were given (again, removing things of sentimental value). Why is that? Just like a little boy, we will value the bicycle we bought with our own money (savings from delivering newspapers for three years) more than the bicycle we got from Santa for Christmas. This anomaly of prizing what we cannot easily obtain is fundamental in a marriage-intentional relationship, and has existed since time was created. In the Garden of Eden, what was the one thing that Adam and Eve couldn’t have? The fruit from the tree of good and evil. When Eve was shown by the serpent just how appealing the fruit was, how tasty and juicy it looked, the fruit from the other trees did not wet her appetite at all; she began to despise that which was freely available to her, and her only desire was the one thing she couldn’t have, that God had forbidden them from eating, even touching. And yet, their desire for the forbidden fruit was so great, that they both willingly disobeyed God, and immediately became aware of the consequences.

Let’s shift gears now, and talk about relationships (don’t worry, it will all tie in). In any long-term relationship (for this example and for simplicity, I’m going to consider a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship), there will be times where things get tough and uneasy. The Christian knows that their reaction to the situation is to trust God, entirely, and I would agree with that. But trusting God, does not mean that your desire to have him/her – your willingness to fight for them – disappears. I would propose that if this does happen, if all feeling of obligation and desire to “win” that person to yourself retreats, then you are not trusting God at all, you are rather attempting (and so in vain) to force yourself to trust God by the only human way of trusting God, and that is by forgetting about the other person wholly. This is folly. I pity the person that loves someone, and because of a desire to serve God with their life, rejects the blessing from God that is found in the person they have loved. Their desire to do good (to serve God entirely, to crucify the desires of the flesh) has prompted them to remove any good feeling to the flesh, which is wrong! God looks to bless His children, to give them things, even things that the world would deem desirable: wealth, a great spouse, influence, etc. Having those things is not wrong, is not a sin. It becomes a sin when those things that God has blessed you with become your focus, when they become your identity, that you are sinning. In other words, when you love the gift and not the Giver, you have corrupted God’s purpose for those gifts, and He will respond.

Please understand that I am in no way suggesting that the above scenario holds true in every case of a Christian in a relationship labeled as “more than a friend.” There are times when the person you are with can distract you from God’s purpose on your life. If you find the other person constantly demanding your attention, drawing you away from God and the things He has set for you to do, than please sever your relationship with that person. If your boyfriend/girlfriend gives you no allowance for time with and serving God, you do not want to continue that relationship another day; do not make yourself vulnerable to soul damage.

Basically what I’m trying to say people, is that God will bless you with things of this world. Guys, God will bless you with a beautiful, great woman, that loves Him and desires to serves Him, if you are serving Him too. Just because there’s this girl that loves you and you’re spending time with her, doesn’t mean you are not in God’s will, that she is distracting you from God’s calling on your life; she may actually be your calling! Just because your body, your flesh feels good, does not mean that you are dwelling in sin. See the gift for what it is: a blessing from God, and treat it as such. Respect it, treasure it, protect it, and thank God for it (ladies I was not referring to you as “its,” simply allowing for inanimate objects as well).

Love you all.