Archive for the ‘Thoughts’ Category

I Cry

Monday, March 9th, 2009

in the midst of it all
when we walk the darkest alley
as we stand before the tallest building
standing in the middle of a tempest storm
wandering in the thickest forest
You are there, in the midst of it all

i cry

in the place we call home
when we walk down the hall
as we stand before our closest friends
standing in the middle of a warm kitchen
wandering in the secret garden
You are there, in the place we call home

i cry

in the busiest workplace
when we walk to the bathroom
as we stand before the board of directors
standing in the middle of a presentation
wandering in the maze of cubicles
You are there, in the busiest workplace

i cry

in the craziest school
when we walk to the classrooms
as we stand before the student body
standing in the middle of a gang
wandering in the packed halls
You are there, in the craziest school

i cry

in the quietest of sanctuaries
when we walk to the altar
as we stand before the cross
standing in the middle of a thousand candles
wandering in the our once strong faith
You are there, in the quietest of sanctuaries

i cry

God if there is one thing i know
it is that You are always there

i wish i knew more, life would be easy
if everytime i could make good choices
then i would not feel pain or sorrow
oh how wonderful that would be
a life full of joy and happiness

but then i remember Your command
to consider it pure joy when i face trials
that tests produce perseverance
and if i let perseverance finish its work
then i shall be mature and complete
not lacking anything

oh how hard it is to smile
oh how deep this feeling dives
oh how far i have wandered from You
oh how my heart longs to be restored

i cry, be my strength when i am weak
oh Lord, have mercy on me please
i cry in your arms now
i lift my hands, and cry

Letting Go of the Acorn

Monday, February 9th, 2009
The seed falls into the ground, dying as the sprout rises.
The sprout grows strong, making due with where it is.
A towering tree has taken the place of the once small sprout.
A bud forms, the result of the tree splitting and breaking open.
The bud lets go, as a beautiful flower reveals itself.
The flower dies, making way for the juicy fruit.
The fruit falls, rots, and breaks open.
The seed fall into the ground, dying as the sprout rises.

The story above is a paraphrase of a paragraph I read in Passion & Purity. The author’s purpose for describing this regular occurrence is to help us recognize that without letting go, their cannot be life. This process of “receiving and relinquishing, gaining and losing, living and dying” is key to any Christians life. We must let go of our talents, our desires, our love, our blessings, indeed all of ourselves, and let God grow us. In every step of its growth, that tree takes a risk. It doesn’t know if the seed will produce a sprout; it doesn’t know if the sprout will grow into a strong tree; it doesn’t know if a bud will form and produce a flower; it doesn’t know if it will be able to produce fruit; it doesn’t know if the fruit will fall and release it’s seeds; it doesn’t know anything. And yet, it continues this routine, year after year after year after year. It is trusting God. It is constantly worshiping God, by it’s growth, death, and rebirth.

As Christians, our life is full of risks. I have often times found God telling me to do something, even something simple as saying hello to someone, but not willing to take that risk. If we truly believe in our God, we have nothing to fear in the risks we take. Think of Abraham and his son Isaac: God told Abraham to sacrifice his son, the son God had promised to Abraham, and would be the father of the children of God, of all Israel. What a risk for Abraham, to go off and sacrifice his only son, his promised son. And yet, Abraham trusted God. The Bible tells us that Abraham trusted God, that he fully expected that God would raise Isaac from the dead. Wow. I want a trust like that.

Quite often the things we value most in our life are the things we have the hardest time trusting God with. In my life, I value my relationships more than anything else: if I see a brother or sister in need or hurting, I will drop whatever I am doing to help them as best I can. Frankly, relationships are one of the things in life we have almost complete control over. We can bring about times of joy, cause pain, comfort others, etc. Releasing the thing I value most, and have complete control of is very hard. I don’t struggle with trusting God with my financial situation, cause I have little control over that (yes, I can go get another job, but even then, I don’t know how that will work out), so it’s easy for me to trust God in that area. But in relationships, the area that I have more control of and value more, it’s very hard. God convicted me of this yesterday, showed me that I have never trusted Him when it came to my relationships. God has changed my approach to relationships a lot: I used to be quite content taking care of me, not caring about anyone else. Thankfully, God working through me has given me the opportunity to help people in need, to overcome the sinful nature that tells me to only worry about myself, and to sacrifice myself to other people, but I’ve never trusted Him in each and every relationship. I’ve given thanks to God for most (if not all of them), but He deserves so much more than “thanks,” He deserves to be given back what He has given.

Reread the second line of the first paragraph: The sprout grows strong, making due with where it is. The sprout doesn’t have any say as to where it has been placed, of where it has to grow; it has to try and grow right where it is. So it is with us. No matter where you are, you have been placed there, for a reason. That sprout may die, so we may die. That sprout may become a tree and grow flowers, so we may be a witness by our lives for God only. That tree may bear fruit, so we may bear fruit. Whatever purpose, where you are, God is there working through you. Don’t be upset that you’re not in Africa or Ecuador or India, rather know that God is growing you, where you are, and the fruit that you may bear could end up across the state, country, continent, or world. Be content, abide where, thrive in the place God has put you. He loves you, right where you are.

Let go of the acorn, let go of the seed. Let it separate…let it grow. Even if it’s not as successful as you may have hoped, it fulfilled God’s purpose, right where it was, as much as it grew. Rejoice in that.

God Is Impossible

Thursday, January 22nd, 2009
Have you ever been given something by God? Like a purpose or a gift, that you thought was really cool, but when you think about it and try and figure things out, you realize “this will never work.” You begin to doubt that what you believe God told you wasn’t God at all, because it seems impossible; it was just wishful thinking. It’d be cool if it worked, but there’s just no way in the world it’ll happen.

That’s just it: there is no way IN THIS WORLD that it will happen. It has to be supernatural; our God is an impossible God. Every aspect of Him, is impossible. Unfailing love? Impossible. Unmeasurable grace? Impossible. Righteous anger? Impossible. And that’s just God. If you look at Jesus: fully man fully God? Impossible. Never sinned? Impossible. Yeah, our God is impossible. Given this logic, that our God is in very nature what we would label as impossible, since He is impossible, He is not limited by what is possible. In other words, since He Himself is impossible, there is nothing He can’t do, cause anything labeled “impossible” is Him. Follow that?

I’m sitting here at work thinking of things God has blessed me with and purposes God has given me, my mind calculating every possible occurrence and possiblity, trying to reason everything out, and it can’t; I get a blue screen of death. And that’s just it: I must die to self, and be completely surrendered unto God. I must die, and let God live in me.

When Jesus was collecting His disciples, He would say “follow me.” I forget which person it was, but one of the “candidates” (if you will), said “let me go bury my father.” Jesus response is seemingly cruel, but tells us how we should act: “let the dead bury the dead.” Basically, put the dead behind you; and that’s not just people who have died, that is anything that is dead, or will be dead (and that’s everything). So when we commit ourselves to God, we are to put everything we have behind us, and follow Him entirely. Now think on this. Jesus never said “ok, now you can stop following me” to His disciples. He didn’t say it, just before He was betrayed. He didn’t say it, just before He was tried. He didn’t say it, just before He was whipped. He didn’t say it, just before He carried the cross. He didn’t say it, just before He was nailed to the cross. He didn’t say it, just before He surrendered His spirit. No; we are to follow Christ, all the way to death. All the way, through betrayal, through trials, through persecution, through pain, through death. When we faulter in our devotion, we must fall on our knees, and say “not my will, but Yours be done Oh God!”

There is no way we could do what God has called us to on our own; it’s impossible. Even Jesus, the Son of God, couldn’t follow God’s plan for Him, without God’s strength, so why do we think we can figure things out, raise money, and execute plans, without God? God is impossible people. He doesn’t give you something He knows you can handle, He gives you something He knows you can’t handle, so that the work you do will glorify Him.

The next time you see yourself in a situation, or are given a vision that seems impossible, remember that God is impossible. He is not bound by what is possible; He created possible. Since possiblity is created by God, that means that God also created impossible, and so He has as much control over impossible situations and plans as He does over possible situations. Wow. I like serving an impossible God. Even trusting God is impossible, without strength from Him. Ask God, to give you strength to trust Him, to follow Him, to love Him, even though it’s impossible.

Impossible? Hah. My God is impossible. What shall I fear? What can I not do? I’ve got the creator of impossible on my side. Booyah; bring it on, God.

A New Love

Monday, January 12th, 2009

the sun rises
the alarm buzzes
the birds chirp
the dew settles
it’s a new day

i wake up
and You greet me
with Your love
and i know i am safe

Your creation stretches
ready to praise You
for all of eternity
it goes on and on

our heads are bowed
our hands are raised
our hearts are lifted
and we are blessed

your long blessings
abound in our lives
and we give thanks
as best we can

by our sacrifice
by our faith
by our love
by our life

the earth rotates
the sun hides itself
the moon glows
the stars sparkle

i drop my head
in reverence and sleep
and i think
about the day

i praise You God
for You have blessed
my friends and i
with more than enough

aloud my heart gives thanks
for my close friends
both close and far
both old and new

my love for them
is a result of my love
for You oh God
may it be steadfast

a hug and a kiss
to You my God
to You my Savior
i love You

a hug and a kiss
to you my friend
to you my brother
to you my sister
i love you

You’ve awakened anew
a love within
for old and new
near and far

i love You God
i love you friend
i love you all
with a new love

To Disappear

Friday, December 12th, 2008

To disappear is to be known. To be known is to be perceived. To perceive is to see or hear. To see or hear is to think. To think is to know. To know is to live. To live is to exist. To exist is to be. To be is…