A few months ago, I was listening to a sermon about lust, and the pastor, like so many other pastors, was tearing into the males in the room. He was speaking under the misconception that lust is mainly directed towards men, that it was and remains primarily a men’s issue. While I certainly do not want to disqualify everything he said (as lust is certainly something men struggle with constantly and should not be handled lightly), I feel that the church has narrowed their understanding of lust in an attempt to make it easier to talk about, and in the process, have disconnected from the reality of the long arm that lust has in our society today. Truth is, lust does not exist only in men. It is not a byproduct of being a man: it comes from a misguided understanding of desire, intimacy, and sexuality.

I was browsing “#manup” on Twitter today, and I read this tweet from a girl named Brittany:

Guy next to me was texting someone named “firstlove” 1 Guys should never title someone that 2 stop having so many emotions 3 #manup

In an instant, my heart broke. She is lost, confused. She has settled for less than for what she was intended, accepting the paradigm that experience has taught her: guys aren’t supposed to be sensitive, have or express emotion. Perhaps she has even accepted that “all girls are meant for is their body parts,” that they don’t deserve to be honored or respected or treasured.

Are you surprised by her statement?
Do you agree with her?
Is her mindset attractive to you?

We are at a critical turning point in our societal evolution: women are giving up on marriage and on finding true love, and retreating towards “one night stands” and relationships based solely on physical pleasure. Don’t believe me? Mark Driscoll in his sermon “Bad Sex, Good Sex” references a statistic proving this. According to Driscoll’s source (a secular sociologist), slightly more women than men have initiated a “one night stand.”

Intimate relationships are collapsing, falling victim to the abuse and pain we all experience in life, and receiving no lasting instruction. Physical relationships ensue out of a need to either suppress hurt or increase happiness. We are desperately looking for anything to push the pain away, to bury the hurt even deeper in our consciousness, to feel anything of enjoyment. We may know full well that the addiction we are currently engaged in will later result in shame or even greater pain, but in that moment, we are in such dire need of satisfaction and worth, that we dive into it head first, hoping to find even a drop of water.

As distressing as the situation may be, it presents a fantastic opportunity to speak life, to bring healing and restoration. The love of Christ is powerful, if used properly and gently. Even the most stubborn and stained heart cannot resist the pure unadulterated love of God. If they are honest with themselves, everyone knows full well that they are lost, and meant to be so much more than they already are. The love of God reveals that in a mighty way, and compels change.

I am personally so hurt to hear this young women’s cry. Not because I know the truth that God has revealed, but because I’ve been where she is. I embraced the perverted desires within me, satisfied them as best I could, and screwed the consequences. I was hurting, in pain, broken, and I was seeking everything, anything, to make it hurt less. I’m still coming out of that place, that part of my life. It’s been difficult, and painful, and the best thing ever. Even in my depravity, I was still aware of the God-given desires that were somewhere deep down inside of me. They were crying out, hoping to be heard, to be listened to, screaming with every breath they could steal from my lungs. The beautiful thing about being a child of God, is that He never lets us go. He pursues us ferociously and indefinitely, never giving up, never losing sight of us; always loving us. One night, He finally caught my eye, and started drawing me back to Himself. What a glorious day that was, and shall always be. I am so thankful for the work He is doing, and the knowledge I have to now help others.

God is ferociously fighting for you. God is ferociously fighting for Brittany, to hold her in His gentle and comforting embrace. He wants you for Himself. He wants her for Himself. He loves you, He loves Brittany. God so passionately wants us to be with Him, not because He needs us, but because He is the best thing for us, because we need Him.

In the same way God fights for us, we need to fight for our friends, to be ferocious for those we are sensitive to, those we desire to be with, to love truly. Fight for them, cause God fights for you. He loves them. He wants them. Love them.