I check The Resurgence almost daily: they have great content, and don’t shy away from hard-hitting topics. It’s an offshoot/ministry from the work of my favorite pastor, Mark Driscoll, and as such, I agree with a lot of the articles there. However…

This morning, I read an article Are You a Friend of Sinners?, which discussed and encouraged Christians to expand their sphere of friends to include non-Christians. That rather than limit our friends by a certain criteria, we should be friends to those outside of church as part of our ministry and witnessing. While I agree with this, the article seemed to suggest that there is no prerequisite for doing this correctly and carefully.

While developing friendships with non-Christians was Christ’s last command to us, we must first be steadfast in our relationship with God, and develop it continually. If we neglect our relationship with God, or dive into a relationship prematurely, we will easily be dissuaded or led away from the only relationship that matters.

For myself, I am in desperate need of authentic Christian community, especially with men. I have been wrestling with how I am supposed to be around people who are intentional in their relationship with God — mature myself — and yet not neglect the friends I have had since I was a little boy. I love several of them, but I’ve reached a critical point in my maturity, where I have to walk away, at least temporarily, so that my growth is no longer stifled by their disinterest in growing spiritually. Shaun (my best man) on several occasions has asked me whether I am in a place to reach out to my friends, to exist among them without compromising myself, and I have had to answer honestly: no, I’m not in that place.

As much as it pains me to walk away from my old friends, I have seen significant growth in myself in the past year, and if I stay focused, I know that eventually I will be in a place where I can return to my friends, and be strong and steadfast in their company. And perhaps, even encourage them to step away from that which holds them back from becoming the young wo/man that God created them to be.

So yes, we should be friends, even great friends, with non-Christians, but we need to be vigilant, careful, and honest about whether we are strong and equipped to be that person for those around us. If not, then we must focus our eyes on God alone, and trust that at some point, we will return as an encouragement to our old friends. Have faith on a moment by moment basis, and God will come through, guaranteed.