Relationship. Companionship. Commitment. Comfort. Desire. Love.
Things we all want (or at least most of us). But we all have different thoughts on how those things should manifest themselves, and I think that’s part of the fun and necessary development of relationship. One relationship may look completely different from another, and both be considered righteous in the sight of God: we cannot judge. But what we can do, is offer our perspective, our thoughts, and perhaps at some point, clarity will be had, and relationship will be allowed to thrive, rather than its current state of cultural decay.
So that’s what I’m going to do: write my thoughts. I am by no means an expert on relationship. I’ve never had a relationship that could be labeled as “dating” or “courting.” I have no formal education, no instruction, no knowledge on psychology or sociology or anything of the sort. All I have, are my eyes, my friends, my mind, and my relationship with God and the instruction given by His Word.
In the past, whenever I have talked about relationship, I have heard on more than one occasion that my viewpoint is overly romantic or unrealistic. Perhaps that may be the case. But let me suggest this idea. As part of God’s family, our role in this world is to restore original creation, to redeem it back to God, to build a Kingdom that is irresistible to all who see it. If our perspective on relationship, career, or art seems crazy to others, I think we’re getting inching closer to the original creation order. If the activities within the church only vary slightly from the activities of the world (weddings for example), then we are failing at living inside of and continually building God’s Kingdom.
The majority of my writing will be centered on an article I read on boundless.org, where the author confronted guys on their treatment of girls: he stated that guys are leading girls on, that girls are victims, and that guys need to basically devote all their time to making sure that the girl is not falling for him, and if that is the case, then the friendship must end.
In principle, I agree with him. In the ultimate consequence of this statement, though, I heartily disagree.
Relationship of any kind, is established on two people have mutual respect for each other, taking care of and pursuing each other, enduring with one another, with similar intent and motives. If any of those things cease to exist, or one is growing more quickly in one party than in the other, there is opportunity for resentment and discord. For example, a girl may meet a guy, and immediately feel that they are destined to get married, where the guy enjoys her friendship. He is respectful and honoring, and comforts her when she is hurting. The guy is acting out of love for his friend, but the girl, since she has given herself over to her thoughts, reads this as interest from the other guy. Over time, she becomes jealous and angry, and eventually, the friendship is broken, all because she did not guard her own heart and take every thought captive.
In that example, how should the guy have responded? According to the author of the article mentioned above, it’s the responsibility of the guy………………
*sigh* Ok, here it is. In this moment, I’ve received a lot of conviction: I cannot continue writing. I have plenty left to say, but I simply cannot. Instead I will close with a quick thought.
In leadership, the responsibility of the leader is take the first step into risk and vulnerability, and those under leadership follow. I believe this to be true in relationship as well. The Bible declares that in relationship (and many others areas) the guy is to be the leader. So in relationship, the guy is the first to take risk, to open up and make himself vulnerable, and the woman follows him into that. The guy is the first to pursue, and the girl follows in pursuit. The guy is the first to risk his heart, and the girl follows in opening her heart to him. If it occurs the other way ’round, the relationship will never achieve it’s potential, and it will always be one dragging the other along.
Ladies, oh my dear sisters, I love you so dearly. You all are so great, and so lovely. Please do not be afraid to embrace your femininity, to be delicate flowers, to be precious treasures.
Men, my brothers, do not harm your sisters. Always be aware of yourself and who you are! You are meant to be ferocious, to be gentle, to be challenging, to be encouraging. Some of you are abusive, and God will never bless you with a woman so long as that continues. You change now! To my brothers, my fellow warriors: keep fighting! God is championing you. He is so anxious for you, to see you become a great man. Do not quit, oh my brothers!!
Guard your hearts, and guard the hearts of others. Love them dearly, protect each other with your life.
Love. <3
